Eight ways to power up your culture of touch
Kids. Pets. Demanding jobs. Cleaning. Yard work. Elderly parents. Routine. Pandemic stress. Poor communication. Not feeling appreciated.
These stressors can get in the way of physical touch. Most couples begin their relationships affectionately, but over time, physical touch can fade.
What the research says
Scientists know physical touch is essential for us to thrive. According to a study in Social Psychological and Personality Science, couples who have sex around once a week are the happiest. The study also found that couples who have sex more than once a week are not any happier, while those who have sex less than once a week feel less fulfilled.
Did you get that? At least once a week is the sex nirvana!
Physical touch is about more than sex, though. Licensed marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson notes that physical touch triggers the release of hormones associated with pleasure and bonding:
"Oxytocin is known as the bonding hormone. That hormone is the same hormone released between a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact is highly recommended for bonding after childbirth."
Putting it into practice
Here are eight ways to boost your culture of touch every day, which can also boost intimacy:
Hold hands, sit close, and kiss in public and private. Make an effort to touch your partner often. Always kiss them goodbye and hello. Cuddle if you’re watching TV or a movie. Play footsie.
Cuddle in bed. What better way to end the day than cuddling the love of your life? If you don’t like to fall asleep spooning your partner, go to bed early so you can cuddle.
Communicate. Ask your partner if they are satisfied with your physical touch, both intimate and casual. Listen carefully and openly so you can support each other.
Dance! Dancing allows you to look into your partner’s eyes and touch them. You can do it in your kitchen or living room! And it’s fun.
Give each other a massage, foot rub, or back rub. These can also be excellent forms of foreplay.
Take a bath or shower together. Use that bath bomb you’ve been saving. Wash your partner’s back. Add bubbles for extra fun.
Be playful! Tousle their hair, squeeze their behind, or nuzzle their neck.
Initiate sex, especially if you don’t do that already. Make time for plenty of foreplay.
Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and relationship coach, shares that oxytocin can make you feel safer and more secure while also boosting your immune system. “Physical touch, specifically cuddling, releases oxytocin, the feel-good hormone that makes you feel like nothing can hurt you.”
Let’s get cozy!
