Embracing Self-Worth

Dr. Adia Gooden tried to find love without feeling worthy of it. Instead of thinking about whether she enjoyed the relationship, she tended to like the person when they liked her. But if the other person ended the relationship, she felt even more unworthy. "You see? I am unlovable. Somebody else left.” 

Dr. Gooden, clinical psychologist/author, shared her story with Dr. Keely Sikes Rollings on the “Embracing Self-Worth” podcast and recommended ways to improve unconditional self-worth.

What’s self-worth?

Unconditional self-worth is the belief that you deserve to be alive and cared for. It all starts with self-compassion and self-kindness.

Let your light shine!

Were your parents critical of you when you were younger? Surely they’ll approve of you when you land a high-paying job and an expensive car! Unfortunately, many people fall into this trap, only to find it still doesn't make them feel worthy.

You were born with a light that shines bright, and you are worthy of that brightness.

How to keep your light shining:

·       Forgive yourself. Instead of beating yourself up for mistakes you might have made, show yourself compassion. Replace your self-critical inner voice with a more compassionate inner voice: “It's okay to be human. Humans make mistakes.”

·       Get help if you need it. Relationships will be healthier if both partners have unconditional self-worth. If one or both of you are struggling, get professional help and keep communication lines open. 

·       Ask for what you need. If we rely on our partner to help us fill worthy, it's upsetting when they don't do that. Self-reflection can help you identify and articulate your needs. Realize the unmet needs from your past often cause your present anxieties. Identify and communicate what support you need.

·       Self-soothe. Give yourself a hug. Humans need physical touch. Soothe yourself by imagining how you would comfort a baby or a small child.

Your natural light might dim occasionally, don’t let it diminish your worthiness as a human.

** Like what you read? Scroll on over to the RADIO and listen to the full podcast. **