Grow Your Relationship with Self-Expansion

“We’re still madly in love with each other.”

- 40 percent of people married more than 10 years

What’s their secret?  Some data suggest that those couples do interesting activities together, but it wasn't the only predictor. Dr. Arthur Aron’s research is designed to figure out what makes relationships last.

What is self-expansion?

Dr. Aron is known for his research on “self-expansion,” which Dr. Gary Lewandowski defines as “people's inherent desires to improve themselves, and relationships serve as a key route to accomplishing this goal.” Essentially, you can get bored if you’re not doing new things in your relationship.

In the “Self-Expansion in a Relationship” podcast with Dr. James Coan, Dr. Aron discusses his research. The best relationships encourage us to try new things and expand ourselves constantly, keeping love alive.

In research conducted with college students, those who fell in love expanded how they saw themselves more than students who did not fall in love.

How can self-expansion boost your relationship?

Dr. Aron shared some fun ways to build in self-expanding activities into your schedule.  Couples who did novel and exciting activities saw a huge increase in the quality of their relationships. One study even found that doing new and exciting things makes your sex life better!

He also shared a gift to couples everywhere: a series of 36 questions designed to help couples grow closer. In a 1997 SUNY Stony Brook study, Dr. Aron explored whether intimacy between two perfect strangers could be accelerated. He developed 36 questions that lead to love. Since creating the quiz, he’s even seen it rekindle romance in long-term relationships. The questions start out simple and become more complex. Check them out!

** To hear the full podcast, scroll on over to the RADIO to listen.**