If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What do you think happens when we die?
These are just some of the questions Stephen Colbert asked Keanu Reeves. Colbert wanted to understand what makes Reeves tick. Colbert and other talk show hosts always make their guests feel like they are the most fascinating people in the world! You can do that too.
You are obviously a curious person, since you downloaded the Our.Love™ app. Now let’s apply that to your relationship!
Remember the early days, when you wanted to know everything about your partner?
How do you get along with your siblings?
Where’s your favorite place to go on vacation?
Sometimes it felt like you were being interviewed by Colbert! “I must be fascinating!” Now it’s more like:
When do we need to take Bella to the vet?
Did you remember to pick up Sophia’s prescription?
Yawn! What happened to feeling like we’re the most fascinating people in the world?
What happened is your curiosity muscles need a workout. For most adults, Curiosity is one of the most important (and underappreciated!) love skills. If you come back for a few minutes each day, we’ll help you master curiosity and the six other critical love skills.
One thing you’ll hopefully no longer be curious about is what makes love great – love that feels honoring, that lifts up, that lights up. But first: Let’s talk about why curiosity is so important!
What the research says
Research shows curious people are happier and less stressed. Psychology professor Todd Kashdan’s book Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfulling Life posits that “when we act on our curiosity, we feed our brains and are in the greatest position to enrich our lives.”
Why is curiosity especially vital in loving relationships?
At its core, curiosity is about a deep desire to understand, learn, and grow. While curiosity is helpful anywhere, it is vital in our relationships. When we master curiosity, we start to delight in understanding how our partner thinks, not only what they think. As your mastery improves in the coming weeks and months, we’ll explore this higher form of curiosity together in Our.Love.
For now, remember this: A question a day keeps the relationship gremlins away!
Watch out for…
Fakery. Be genuinely curious. Does Stephen Colbert dial it in?
Overtalking. LISTEN more than you speak. Our.Love can help! Our emotion detection biometrics game Talk 2 Me™ includes built-in questions, and guidance to develop your own. The tracker will tell you how much time you spoke and how well you listened. You’ll get to explore Talk 2 Me™ after you complete a few more exercises!
So, can you channel Colbert?
Here’s a little secret: You have it in you to make your partner feel like the most fascinating person in the world. Watch Colbert with his wife, Evie, and see how they interact. It’s clear they adore and find the other person endlessly fascinating! They do it by constantly seeking out each other’s thoughts. That may seem like some ju-jitsu level curiosity. It’s not. It’s awareness and practice.
Ready for a first taste?
Ask your partner one of the questions below. You can even text them the question and discuss it later. If you want to be a real superstar (we know you do!), choose three questions and schedule one each for the next three days:
If you could have dinner with a fictional character, who would it be?
If you were to have a different career, what would you do?
What’s your sweetest memory?
If you could travel into the past, what time period would you choose?
Who was your favorite teacher and why?
Bottom line: If you stay curious about each other, you’re more likely to be happier and better prepared for life’s challenges. You are both way more interesting than you think!
