Twenty Ways to Appreciate Your Lover 

Move over, Paul Simon and “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.”  

 Show you see, hear, value, and understand your partner in the following 20 ways: 

1. Say “thank you” 

Verbally, face to face, say, “thank you for XYZ.” Make eye contact. Get their attention. Say it clearly and with love in your heart. 

2. Write “thank you” 

Send a card, email, or text with the words “thank you for XYZ.” Be specific. 

3. Show physical affection 

Give your partner a hug, hand hold, kiss, back rub, or high five to say “I want to be close to you.” 

4. Give a gift 

Buy your partner flowers, their favorite cookie, or even cozy socks! Making it meaningful is a foolproof way of saying “I KNOW you.” 

5. Pick up some of their work 

Pick up some of the work your partner usually does around the house. It’s another way to communicate “I don’t take you for granted.” 

6. Spend quality time together 

Make sure to stay focused on your partner. Increase your eye contact, ask questions, and be an active listener. 

7. Show an interest in their hobbies 

Show an interest in horseback riding if that’s what floats your partner’s boat. Listen intently to learn how they most like to spend their time. Maybe even try it out yourself.  

8. Take an interest in your partner 

Ask what is going on, remember what they said, and follow up. It feels good to get a text after a big work meeting, asking “How did the big meeting go?”  

9. Cook or order takeout from their favorite restaurant 

Food is the language of love. When someone can source our favorite food, double the happiness!  

10. Play their favorite music, show, movie, or board game 

Show your mate you know what they like. If you watch rom-coms with them when you prefer reality TV, it shows you want to prioritize their happiness. 

11. Tell your partner you support and believe in them 

A simple “you’ve got this” is a great way to show you believe in them. 

12.Work on yourself 

Work on repairing your bad habits or things that irritate your partner.  

13. Apologize 

Acknowledge you’ve caused hurt and are working to avoid it again. 

14. Cut your partner some slack 

Show your partner you accept them for who they are. Give them some grace and show you don’t expect perfection.  

15. Help your partner prioritize their own health 

By helping your partner put their physical and mental health first, you communicate you want them to be around for a long time. 

16. Make respectful requests 

When you ask your partner for help, use a respectful tone of voice and say “please” and “thank you.” 

17. Reassure them 

Make your partner feel safe and secure. Let them know they are worthy and valuable. Tell them you love them, often. 

18. Do something spontaneous 

Plan a date night out. Get spontaneous and creative.  

19. Ask your partner for advice 

Asking your partner to help you shows you trust them and want them to fully partner with you. 

20. Purposely reciprocate appreciation  

When your partner shows appreciation, reciprocate. Make your relationship a culture of appreciation.