Your partner is not the same person you fell in love with, and that's okay 

Brianna and Amari met online in their mid-20s and had an instant electric attraction. The hippest bar in the city? The bartender knew them by name. Ten years later, the electricity has transformed into a warm, content glow. On Saturday nights you’ll find them snuggled up Netflixing and chilling.  

Not only does each partner change in a relationship, but the relationship itself changes…as it should. 

What the research says 

When the Harvard Study of Adult Development assessed connections between people’s habits and their well-being, they found romantic love to be the best predictor of happiness. And the most important factor is what psychologists call “companionate love.” The most successful couples evolved into deep, abiding friendship and commitment. 

Dr. Marisa T. Cohen, cofounder of the Self-Awareness and Bonding Lab, says “While feeling completely wrapped up in another person at the beginning of a relationship may be exciting and feel wonderful, it is the relationships that rely solely on passionate love that are doomed to fail.” 

That doesn’t mean you lose the passion! Instead, you build a foundation of intimate friendship to shore up the passion. 

Potential roadblocks 

It’s possible one of you could change so much that the relationship is no longer viable. It’s also possible you could fall out of love. It’s important to keep your communication lines open to reduce the chances of that happening. 

Putting it into practice 

When you accept that your partner and your relationship will inevitably evolve, you’ll be able to embrace the change. Stay in touch and check in to see how they are feeling about the relationship. Discuss the way your relationship has changed and renew your commitment to growing together. 

You are making the best possible step to keep the excitement alive in your relationship and embrace change by using the Our.Love app! Use our tools to change your relationship for the better!