Keep the magic alive by staying curious! 

Logan and Aubrey dedicate 10 minutes each evening to putting their phones away, checking in, and asking each other three or four random questions. They range from silly to serious, like “if you could be dictator, what would be your first decree?” “What would you hold a world record in?” “If you could have a new job, what would you choose?” “What is something you regret?” 

They keep their couple magic alive by finding out something new about each other every single day!  

What the research says 

Psychologist Dr. Todd Kashdan is an expert on curiosity. His research has found the most significant predictor of happiness is having significant, high-quality relationships. And the best way to have those types of relationships is curiosity. 

“You have to take an interest in other people’s thoughts, ideas, and what they care about…The undergirding principle of taking an interest in another person is curiosity.” 

Potential roadblocks 

Feeling awkward about asking your partner questions? Dr. Kashdan suggests you “fake it ‘til you make it.” When you ask open-ended questions, your partner will say something that interests you and make you more curious. Think about how excited you were to get to know each other when first dating! 

Putting it into practice 

Most people love to talk about themselves, so the best way to form relationships is to ask questions. When we are seen and heard, it lights up reward centers in our brains. It strengthens love relationships to know someone cares about what we think and feel. 

Instead of only asking your partner mundane questions like “how was your day?” and “did you buy the milk?”, move beyond to more interesting questions like Logan and Aubrey do. “What’s the strangest thing about where you grew up?” “What is your biggest weakness?” “What ten things would you bring to a desert island?” “What do you think happens after we die?” “What’s the best gift you have ever received?” “What do you think could spice up our love life?” 

Watch the magic happen when you get curious!